Well by now you have met my dog Mutt, the wonder hound, as in I wonder what that button do? She is of course my key to all things strange. A chicken at heart but a watch dog when needed, (OMG liar, liar pants on fire). A courteous eater with all others of the pack feed first and not a drop on the floor, (burn baby burn). A toy sharing mongrel that would give her last toy to her siblings, (is that the devil I see coming?)
Okay, okay, she is a typical dog with typical jealousies. She is extremely curious which has led to her being lost in the neighborhood for half a day, a million holes dug to find the critter that her big sis loved to eat, hours spent investigating leaves that fall to the ground . Objects that have been moved from one place to the other fascinates her to no end. And if there are any black objects that have magically appeared, ANYWHERE, you had better hold your ears because she will let you know it is there until the alien of the dark side has been removed! Then there is the, at one time, new washer and dryer. She still watches it daily. It holds a hypnotic power that can transform her from a hyper little 5-year-old to a sleepy old gussy. And this is where the redneck comes into play.
Mr. Moody’s recliner was the most used piece of furniture in the house. All three dogs had their own con-caved perches on varies spots of the chair with Mr. M in the center. The smallest one on the arm, next one was located at the top of the head rest and the big dog’s spot was wedged in beside the master, but she hated to share. Her ideal squatting spot was dead center and stretched out head to toe. She would actually look at you and whine until you came over to recline the chair for her optimal comfort. Both she and M, had worn the snuginess right out of the chair. Holes as big as babies bottoms were worn between the seat and back. Springs were poking where springs should not poke but her love for that chair was unmatched by any other piece of furniture. So you could just imagine her surprise when the Mister came home with a great big object.
She watched him push, pull, and tug her little cloud of comfort out of its spot. She then saw him struggle, drag, and scoot a rather large dark (but not black) thing into its position. And that position was right where her old comfy sleeping station was just moments before. Mr. M said she had her misgivings. She crept up to it like it was alive. When he pulled the lever to show her it reclined she shot out of the house like it was a feral cat coming after her.
When I got home I was surprised to see the new VERY large double recliner. It was nice and he could not wait to show me it was built for two. In reality, it was made for two skinny people or one Mr. M and one large dog, but we managed to squeeze in together. SuzieQ was barking and wanting up with us. Jeff was already in his usual spot minus his cozy nest like feel. Big girl was nowhere to be found. Later that evening Mutt was still MIA. I called her but she did not come in. I looked out the back door and there she was. She was back in her element, her comfy zone.
Ya see, Mr Moody moved the old chair on the back porch until the weekly trash run. Mutt found it and staked her claim as full owner of the redneck backyard porch recliner. Yes my dog is a redneck dog and loves it. I know we should remove the porch recliner but it would just break her heart. She has tried to share Mr. M’s new chair but he keeps shooing her out of it. So the back porch chair will stay, at least until fall. For the time being, my big old redneck dog can enjoy life once again.
You might have a redneck dog if your canine likes to help you load the dish washer by licking clean each plate before it lands in the machine!
You might have a redneck dog if “shot gun” means riding in the back of the pickup truck.
You might have a redneck dog if “Flying American” means its ears are flapping in the wind while riding “shot gun” on the highway.
And finally, you might have a redneck dog if it has its own recliner on the back porch of its very nice home.