Although my dad passed from stomach cancer the true meaning of this song applies. He was scared but I think we loved him through it. Open the following site if you would like to listen while you read I’m going to love you through it.
As I sit across from my dad’s hospital bed, I think back over the years of how strong and bigger than life he has always been to me. I think of the times he would drop me off at school because I could not wake up on time. How the one time in my life I reached out for my mom he stepped in and held my hand. He gave me the courage to accept the reality of it all. I think how I could not remember one single day in my dad’s life he was sick in bed. He did have a heart attack very early in life but came out of the hospital fit as a fiddle after surgery. He changed his life style. He was not even fazed. He and I were never close when I was growing up. I was a bit of a handful, more than he or mom could handle; and apparently, that started at age two when I ran away and the police found me about a mile away. I do not remember this, but no one ever let me forget it.
A few years ago my dad found himself helping to take care of Susan, a young woman and a victim of MS. Her death had a profound affective on my dad. So much so, it changed his life and a new relationship between us was born. For eight years we called each other daily. I felt he was projecting his feelings for Susan but I did not care. I had my dad in my life. What I thought was a fad, turned out to be a true and unending love. Everyday for eight years we talked emailed or face booked. He wrote a piece on FB that explained why the economy was tanking. Then called to tell me that politicians were reading his post because he just heard a presidential candidate speech that repeated his post word for word.
My dad was wise, but yet, a bit naive, strong but gentle, a wise cracker but kind, a man among men, a man with humor, an entertainer, a breakfast cooking fool. A man that raised and loved a son that turned out to be a most wonderful father and husband. He was a loving grandfather that would love so hard he inspired his oldest grandson to greatness as well. He loved and prayed for a grandson that finally found his way, a granddaughter he thought the world of and praised her artistic talents. He found hope and happiness in his other grandsons too. He took such pride in their athletic abilities, their intelligence as well as their creativity. He was a great-grandfather to 4 awesome kids. But most of all, my dad was a compass, a beacon of light for a little girl lost, that would be me.
In the end, my daddy put forth such an effort to live. One that would rival any championship boxer, any basketball team even U of M, any sports team on earth. My dad was one of two known people to survive an acute yeast infection in the blood according to the team of doctors he had. He made his doctors and surgeons cry. He made his nurses hold on to one another. He made his family cling to one another. He had the love of his life and in the end she let him know how much she loved him. He wanted to live more than any person I have ever known. He did not want to leave my brother, his daughter in law who stayed with him and cared for him just as hard as his own children, his grandsons, his granddaughter, his great grandkids, his two precious doggies that got him through the day Susan and Gizmo and his daughter (me).
My daddy, I love you and I thank you for giving me life, for loving me for who I turned out to be warts and all. I pray we brought you comfort and enough courage to pass on to your next adventure. We wanted to be with you every minute so you would not die alone. I pray we loved you through it.
Wait at the gate for me daddy for it is you I want to see when I get there.
My daddy started the fundamental me. My Daddy, my life, November 16, 1932 to October 13, 2011 Passed from Colon/Stomach Cancer. .