Fundamental Fridays: Everybody Dies Famous In A Small Town

 

I know I am late Sorry. 😉

 

I love living in a small town but sometimes I just want to escape.  Like when the cattle trucks come through our little village and stop at the gas station across the street from me.  It does not take long for the cows to start mooing.  They are calling out to me.  They know I’m here and they can feel my pity for them.  They are mooing my name Ruuuuuuth, Ruuuuuuuth over and over again.  They sound so scared, pitiful  and helpless. Don’t get me wrong I am a steak eater but I am an animal lover more, especially to the ones that know my name.  On more than one occasion I have thought about sneaking over there and unlatching the door.  I would shout be free, run free, get the heck out of that truck don’t you know what is coming?  I have gone as far as to walk outside to get a better look see and strategize my plans.

Some ideas are….

1.  Wait until the driver goes inside to get his cup of coffee then creep over to the truck and open the door. Then run like heck back to the store where I work.  I could fake it when the local PoPo ask me if I saw anything.  I could tell them  a band of very tiny forest people  stood on one another shoulders to release the bovine.  Then I would have my friends claim I was insane and I don’t know what I was talking about much less where I am at.

2.  Wait until the driver goes to get his coffee and a burrito then race over like The Flash and blow the lock with c4.  Okay you got me I have no idea what c4 is other than it is an explosive they have used on NCIS.  More than likely I would blow up the cows and that would defeat my purpose.  But what a heck of a steak and shake party that would be. What am I saying?

3.  Wait until the driver goes in to get his cup of coffee, burrito and uses the bathroom.  Run over pick the lock then one at a time guide each cow into one of my storage units that are right next door to the gas station.  Of the ones that can’t fit, I could tie them up in peoples yards.  I can put straw hats and spots on them to make them look like yard art.

4.  Wait until the driver goes into get his cup of coffee, burrito, uses the bathroom and flirt with the little ladies that work there.  Unhitch the trailer and hook it to my truck.  Haul them off to a undisclosed field where they can be happy and roam the country side  never more to worry.

The only thing that stops me is the thought of having to face Hubs.  Oh and I guess my friends might have a few words to say like :”ARE YOU CRAZY?” and “I just don’t know who you are anymore!”  The Daughter would hang her head in shame. I would get a reputation of being a cow hugger (that I would not mind).  Do they still hang people for cattle rustling?

I think I will just invest in a great pair of ear plugs.  I can pop them in as soon as I hear/smell the truck coming.  All I know is that I have to do something or one day you all will be seeing a headline about a crazed woman that reads, “Who let the cows out? WHO WHO WHO WHO?”

 

Now this story may or may not have been amusing but if truth be known…I REALLY DO WANT TO LET THE COWS OUT.

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25 thoughts on “Fundamental Fridays: Everybody Dies Famous In A Small Town

  1. It is enjoyable to read about cows from the “other side of the road.” I am usually the one who gets the call that the cows are out and running loose…perhaps I should look for that band of tiny forest people!

  2. whenever I see a truck with animals, whether its cows, sheep, pigs or horses..I know where they are going and I too want to set them free. Like you , I also eat meat and am an avid animal lover.
    That is why I could never be a farmer..I could not kill an animal ever. I had a chicken once that was very poorly..I took it to the vets so that it could be put to sleep..
    So If you do get around to letting out the cows, I for one will visit you in jail.

  3. I know that feeling. It’s one of those feelings that let me feel I could make a difference, but I’d really not. Because if I REALLY let those cows out what would happen is that there would be a huge overblown effort to get the cows back on the truck. Adrenaline junkies would have a field day, and the cows would be spooked even more then they already were. And they’d still end up at the same place in the end.

    So instead I focus on what I CAN do to help animals. And I have a plan. You’re welcome to join me if you’d like. Stay tuned.

    • You just have no idea, ElizOF, how bad I want to do this. I have been going through this for 8 years now. This year was the first time I actually walked over and gave it some serious thought. However, Rumpydog does have a good point. I think much more planning is needed to pull this off without a trace.

  4. Hehe. This made me laugh. Well, you would love to live where I am. In my backyard is a huge expanse of farmland with cows. Lots and lots of cows. And they roam free, baby! Like they should. I have a video of them suddenly running across the pasture in one of my old posts…I think it was called Fluffernutter Friday (?) Check it out–it’s cowtastic!

  5. Good Lord! Now you got that song stuck in my head!!! Thanks so much!! Aaarrggg!!!!! I’ll get you for this! just you wait!

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