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Whacked out Wednesdays: Legs,,,Long Long Legs

Main characters D – Daughter, M – Me, H – Hubs

D – “Mom?”

M – “Yes”

D – “Did you see the message someone left on your phone?”

M – “You mean the screen saver that said, Good Morning I see the assassins have failed. Yes, I saw it and it sort of freaked me out. That is until I remembered seeing you pick up my phone as I was going to bed. Shame on you.”

D – Uncontrollable laughter

M- “Listen, you need to get your bath earlier tonight cause I am going to take a nice steamy bubble bath and I need all the water I can get. It is going to be a to the top jacuzzi night for me. And I want no interruptions for ANYONE.”

D- “K”

40 minutes later the shower running.

Ten minutes later, I see Daughter walking like a drenched zombi down the hall. Totally naked with dripping hair, soap on half of her body and glazed over eyes the size of silver dollars.

My immediate reaction was a horrid feeling in the pit of my stomach. I jumped up and ran to her to see what was going on.

M – ” Oh my god, what? What is it”

Her hands were trembling.

D – silent

M – ” DAUGHTER! what is wrong?”

D – (wee little voice) ” I.. I ..I ..I saw it.”

M- “What? Saw what?”

I ran to the bathroom and searched behind the door, out the window and in the hamper. Nothing. I turned off the water and ran back to her. Daughter now on the floor shaking uncontrollably.

M – WHAT?

I am now starting to get mad as all get out. I want answers.

D – ” I was siting in the shower shaving my legs. Something out of place caught my eye. I looked down and….and…

M – WHAT? WHAT?

D – That glazed eye look again.

M – “Honey what was it?” (softer now trying to reach her)

D – “Mom it was legs, hairy hairy legs.”

What the hell?

M – “Your legs?”

D – “NO! I saw hairy legs poking out of the holes of the drain cover. I kept watching and then two more legs crept out with a body attached!”

uncontrollable shaking, teeth chattering —-(oh that was me). Daughter was numb and still.

M – “WHAT?”

D – “Mom, a spider came out of the drain and it is still in the tub…..get it out!, Get It Out!,GET IT OUT NOW.”

M – “Okay, Okay, geez scare me to death next time won’t ya?”

Daughter has had a life long fear of spiders. She stopped taking baths because spiders would fall down on her in the water or they would hide in the jets of the tub. She would turn on the jets and out would come spiders trying to cling to her for dear life. She would be screaming her face off and scrambling to get out of the soapy tub. Not good.

I grabbed a paper towel to remove it. I don’t believe in killing anything unless I have to. Boys that bring my daughter home too late would be a have to.

M – “Okay where is this humongous spider? Daughter, I can’t find it.”

D – “Look at the drain cover or under the seat.”

M – “Why in the world can’t you just get over your fear of spiders. I swear when I was your age I was scared too but I willed myself to not be afraid of them. I am not always going to be here to remove spiders for you. Listen little girl you better learn how to put your big girl panties on and deal wit…..”

heart racing, eyes bugging, going to faint! (that would be me again)

D – “Mom?”

M- silent

D – “MOM?”

M – “Daughter call your dad. Call your dad NOW.”

D – “Dad, DAD, DAD, DAD!”

H – “What the hell is going on in here? You people are making so much noise I can’t hear the TV. Why are you behind the door and in the floor? Why are your eyes so big? Why are you shaking? What is going on?”

M – points to the tub

D – points to the tub

H – DAMN!

A Wolf Spider and Yes it is as big as your screen. It would fit from finger tip to end easily. How in the world did it crawl of of the drain cover?

H – squishes it

H- “Gross” (walks away)

D – Gag, gag (audible)

M – woozy and still on floor

D- “I am going to rinse off in your shower come with me.”

M- walks behind Daughter in a bit of a dazed.

D- “Thanks mom” (Daughter disappears)

I am thinking now would be a great time for a bath. And a glass of wine.

I run the water all the way to the top. Get in. Relax. Wonderful hot steamy water to soak away the tension of the day. All I needed was bubbles. I turned on the jets and poured in the soap.

M – (Scream! Scream, Scream)

D – “Mom what’s wrong, what is it? Let me in!”

open the door. Daughter walks in.

D – “See I told you. That is why I don’t take baths any more.”

Six surfing Wolf Spiders clinging to me for dear life.

(Lawd, where is that bottle?)

I read whatimeant2say the other morning and it reminded me of our encounter. I thought I would share both of our stories.

Happy Thanksgiving All

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57 thoughts on “Whacked out Wednesdays: Legs,,,Long Long Legs

  1. OMG I was going to say spiers usally come in pairs!

    I was gardening once and a wolf spider walked over my hand. I was frozen to the spot.. Once it had gone I screamed so loud I swear you could hear me across the Atlantic!

    • Hi Piglet, We also have Tarantulas about half way down the mountain. Thank goodness they can’t swim or fit through the little tiny holes at the drain.

      Thank you for letting me know that when there is one there is more. And by the way, one day this past summer I thought I heard a faint scream. 😉

    • I never check my spam but today it caught my eye. I checked it and there you were! Thanks for the follow. I love your blog too. Thank goodness your wife is a team player. My Hubs HATES for me to write about him. Thank goodness he does not know about this one.

  2. I remain on your daughter’s side….I am speechless, shaking and starting to brush at every tickle I feel. Once, in the fall, a colony of wolf spiders were enjoying the warmth on my door between the front door and the glass door. Open the inner door. Scream, yell, jump. I placed drinking glasses over each one. My husband came home to all these glasses in the entrance way with spiders trapped. Those things are toooooo big to squish.

  3. It was all very funny until I saw the spider. Then it was just totally creepy. I can’t believe you were crazy enough to take a bath after the first spider. Wild horses wouldn’t have gotten me back in that bathroom for weeks and then only after an spider SWAT team cleared it for me. You are braver than me or just plain (fill in the blank).

  4. Well to my defense.. It was a different bathroom in a different part of the house. I had never had a problem with spiders in mine. And besides I love a bubble bath with a passion. And you are forgetting I had a nice large glass of wine. Heck, okay you are right I am just plain…..

    • Okay. I feel much better about your overall mental stability knowing it was a different bathroom. Still, that is one horrifying monster (spider is an inadequate descrption). I may have had to call professionals just to be sure the house was safe to sleep in.

      Great story, Birdie.

      • Darn, I just reread my post and realized I did not indicate we were using a different bathroom. I was just writing things in the order it happened. I get so caught up in my story I forget you guys are not walking with me through this head of mine. I better work on that.

  5. How brave you are, daughter and Mom… I do not mind spiders, if I see them first
    but if your spiders are as big as you say they are..then no way! I would stay away as far as possible.

    If you think about it they cannot help looking like that and being that size, and I am sure that Mummy Spider loves them all, but for me..no thank you

    • I don’t think we are brave Ms.P we just have no choice but to live with them. And you are right they just can’t help but look that way. I keep telling myself that God does not make mistakes and so they are valuable. I try to never kill one. But dang they are creepy.

  6. Well, thanks. I was taking a relaxing stroll through pre-Turkey posts and found your interesting mother-daughter dynamics, HA HA…what fun…

    Then it turns into the attack of the arachnids and I can’t take a bath tonight without putting duct tape over the drain…maybe the faucet, too. Maybe rip the tulle out of my defunct wedding dress undergarments and use it as a netting to sleep under. What the heck…I’m going to a hotel.

    • It is strange up here. We do not have snakes, mosquitoes, roaches or termites but boy oh boy do we have spiders! I guess you get used to them. The size of that one was probably one of the largest wolf spider I have seen up here. Stopped over at your place and loved what I found. Thanks for the comment.

  7. I only have one huge phobia and that would be spiders. Doesn’t matter how big or tiny they are, if I see one, I panic and start to hyperventilate. Just seeing that picture above was enough to get my pulse racing. I would have fainted if I saw one in the tub!

    Once, in junior high, I was practicing my recorder for music class. I kept trying to get sound out of it, but nothing. I took it apart and saw this mass of white stuff inside. I peered in closer, putting my eye right up to the end and out scurried this giant spider. I screamed so loud people in the next state heard me.

  8. I’m with everyone else….that picture is too, too creepy. I’ve been known to vacuum up a spider, and then put the vacuum outside so the spider wouldn’t crawl back out and come bite me in my sleep. I’m braver now though. But not much.

  9. I was waiting to hear that both you & your daughter were a couple of wimpy gals, but geez – this spider is huge! I you sure you didn’t enlarge it while posting?
    I remember my sister screaming like this once when she took a bath as a teen. Turns out my brother’s snake got out of its cage.

  10. Because you make my life better with your humor and honesty, I am passing along the 7 x 7 Link Award to you. I have created a permanent page for this award. Please reference the link for the rules.

    http://missdemurerestraint.wordpress.com/i-present-this-award-to/7-x-7-link-award/

    You can pick up your badge at:

    This is a special award. It is not your standard “list seven things about yourself” award. Instead it provides an opportunity to share seven of your old posts with your readers.

    Yours is one of my very favorite blogs. I hope you will have time to participate, but as always it is entirely your option.

    Miss D

  11. My mom was JUST like your daughter. Drove my grandma crazy. When my mom got married, she and my dad made a deal: if he would kill all of the bugs, she would change all of the diapers. To this day, they still abide by that rule. 🙂

  12. LOL … You had my mind going in a different direction, but the thought of six surfing spider at bath time is a bit creepy. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving … and thanks for visiting my blog.

  13. Pingback: 7 x 7 Award « life is a bowl of kibble

  14. We don’t have jets on our tub, but I did take a half bath with a huge wolf spider that came out of the drain. I didn’t realize it was in there at first, but when I noticed, I moved as quick as I ever have since I broke my hip. Funny thing is, I am not scared of spiders, but I sure don’t want to take a bath with one.

    • OOOOooo Hi BTS and thank you for bopping over. Okay I can tell you that you are already braver than me. Although I am not very afraid of spiders, I would NEVER play with them. The way I see it is you are the bravest person I have talked to or rather blogged with. 😉

  15. Pingback: What The Heck Is This Pony Tail Doing Here? or I’ll Get You And Your Little Dog Too! | life is a bowl of kibble

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