Weekly Photo Challenge: Self-Portrait

This week’s photo challenge was a tough one.  I thought it was only tough for me until I read the island traveler‘s post.  I felt the same way as he did.  And up until I read his, I was going to pretend that I missed this weeks challenge.  I started thinking how do I see me?  What is my perception of myself?  How do others see me?  I came up with this.

Frequently, I am pressed for time.  I feel like I have the whole weight of the world on my shoulders.  It feels compressing and at times devastating.  I feel small compared to the way I was in my youth.  I feel squished between family and responsibilities.

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Sometimes I can set my mind to regroup and start to force life into perspective.  It feels like the gathering of pieces.  A calling to arms to fight the never-ending battles of life.  I pull from all angles tugging, and pasting little squares together.   Don’t get me wrong I am not depressed rather I am the leader of this little dysfunctional group.  Not by choice but by default.  I do not mind this position but it is stressful and most of the time un-rewarding.  However, I love each and every person in my life and that is why I fight so hard to hold us all together.

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After a while, things start to assemble its self.  It begins to happily percolate along.  The pieces are just about aligned and life is beginning to get easier .  The stress and hard work is paying off.  That is until you wake up one morning and the car will not start, son calls needing a small loan, the grands are crying wanting you to come see them, daughter is questioning which college to go to, someone you love is very sick or one of your neighbors has passed in their sleep, the dogs are battles their own little wars, IRS is knocking on your door and hubs, well, Hubs is Hubs.

Life goes on.  Good times or bad.  It will never change it will only continue.   I tell myself we all feel squished at times.  We all try to force the pieces of our life back together and no matter how hard we work at fixing every thing and everybody, life will always find a way to right its self.  Of course before you know it, it will then screw up again.  This is the cycle of living.  This is what makes us strong.  This is what gives us hope and the strength to keep fighting the good fight.  The knowing of life’s circle can help us cope and if we are lucky we can find the humor that Gods leaves us to discover.  I think he only ask us to look for it with wide eyes and open heart.

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My goal, my self-portrait in life is to try with all I have to keep the peace, to bring comfort to others, to be kind and loving to both family and friends,  To realized I am not perfect.  To know without a shadow of a doubt I am going to screw up.  I am going to get angry at times.  I am going to cry and wonder why.  I am going to have loved and lost.  I am going to be okay and feel happy in my own skin because I am mom, MoMo, sister, aunt, daughter, wife.  I am a person of attitude both smart ass and sternness.  I am comforter and understanding.  I am eyes wide open and of giving heart. I am both lover of life and God.   I am  me.

Wow, that was sort of therapeutic!  Thank you island traveler for the push I needed.

Advice from a Waterfall

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44 thoughts on “Weekly Photo Challenge: Self-Portrait

    • Wow I feel honored. One of the strongest women on wordpress has just called my words powerful. Humbling. I can not imagine how these ramblings have touched you but I am so grateful they found you and somehow helped. I so enjoy all of your post. You have a beautiful family. Happy,merry holiday.

    • When I was 15 I too struggled with my own inadequacies. A very wise women leaned into my space and gave me the best eye to eye advise I ever had. She told me with time comes acceptance. All I had to do was soften my eyes and work on the inside. Everything else would fall in to place on the outside. I had to learn to Love who I was not what I look like. I had to be true to myself. What’s more she lived this. She dressed the way she wanted. Looked the way she wanted talked and loved the way she wanted. She lived her advise. I took notice of this and it gave me strength. I love her, she is my aunt.

  1. Well-said, Kibbles. Loved the whole creative process and the words that precipitated this blog. As Julia from Julia’s place once said, “I feel like I have all my dishes up in the air at once!” But one just needs to refocus and realize that our journey is all about the ups and downs of life.

  2. Okey doke. I came back to re-read this. I’ve got a party at my house and a particularly irritating person will be there throwing darts.
    “Keep looking for the humor. Look for the humor. Look for the humor.”

  3. That so beautiful my heart. You just poured out your heart and thoughts in the most tender and endearing way. So full of warmth, love, hope, even pain and struggles that we all go through. Like you, I have so much imperfections , failures, weakness and I’m no longer ashamed to say that. It’s because of these that I feel motivated to do better, to persevere, to try and conquer. Hard? Yes. Worth it? Definitely! I pray for you and me and the family that love us for a life of bliss, of peace , of happiness that comes from contended heart. Wishing you and your family a blessed and joyous Holiday….

  4. This is beautiful and touching too… No one is perfect but often we don’t admit as we rush around trying to prove whatever to the world. I admire your gumption and love the picture. 🙂

  5. Pingback: Weekly Photo Challenge: Self Portrait… | Mirth and Motivation

  6. Pingback: Weekly Photo Challenge: Between « Life is a bowl of photos

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