Speed Dating in a Bag

I have something I call the mating bag, and I often play the dating game with it.   Abandoned, lonely, and mismatched signatures all gather  in this

The Infamous Forbidden Closet, where all things go that shall remain nameless

little bag of mine.  Some lay straight, some crumbled and crushed, some are young and new, others are old and worn; but all are awaiting and willing to play this game with me.  I play  mainly, no… always, in the winter.  This secret game started well before I married.  It is an addiction that I do not wish to stop.  It is a game I so look forward to every year.  This bag is kept hidden deep within a closet that know one dare enter.  Just the thought of this bag sends goose bumps down my neck,  moisture to my lips, and then concludes with gloriously, sensual warm feet! FEET?

Yes, people.  I am talking about my white plastic sock bag.  What did you think I was talking about?   Dirty, dirty, dirty little minds.  I am sure many of you have one, a sock bag not a dirty mind. There may even be a few of you that also play this game of shame with Nike, Nononesence, and others.   This bag is where the lost and misplaced one-sided sock goes.  I can’t bear to throw them away.  Heck, half are brand new.  Most of the mates suffered an unknown death, others were eaten by the washing machine or met their demise by the playful antics of my Mutt; however, all the remaining partners still have life and great potential when hidden by my knee-high snow boots.  There are soft cuddly ones, rough but warm ones.  There are short ones and tall ones.  Socks of every color in the rainbow adorn my bag and delight my eyes.

The sock bags of many colors

In winter I can pull this bag out and play the dating game.  Sometimes the game is nothing more than   catch and release other times a true courtship will ensue.  Qualified applicants must pass a series of questions. Do the potential mates have compatible texture or weave?   Do they have the same  integrity?  Do they have fun together on your feet? How about their comfort value and what about that “wow!” factor, is it there?  Do polar opposites attract?  For example,  would the sophisticated plaid entertain the idea of being paired with the, oh so special, fun loving Ho Ho HO  message sock?

After careful consideration, I often use the speed dating technique, in which I try them on my feet and do a short test run through the house. I love how the newer ones slide across the hardwood floor when I take them on a test run.   If it all works, they are then paired and put into the sock drawer until it’s time to put away my beloved snow boots.  Of course, this marriage of blended colors, designs and textures are forbidden in today’s society but who will be the wiser under all my layers of cloths and boots?

I take pride in my rebel ways and look forward to winter.    However, the New Year will bring change.  You see, my bag has seen better days and my mates have been put through the ringer year after year.  Most are ready to move on to the retirement home they call The Good Samaritan Compost Heap.  There, they will find new uses beyond their comprehension.  For me, this year will bring something more than a plastic supermarket bag to stash them in.  I have a new recycled, reusable bag which will hold all my potentials looking for mates.  I also went shopping for new socks.  They are stacked up on the washer awaiting a good spin.  My Mutt has spied them and the drool has started flowing.  In her mind, this is equivalent to a new toy just out of reach.

So here is to all the mates I’ve loved.  The good. The bad.  The lost.  May your next life bring happiness and ripe juicy tomatoes!

Other uses for socks are: dusting, also storing your prized Christmas tree ornaments for next year.

Oh yeah, you can cover your golf clubs with them when putting away for the winter.

Just out of curiosity, what do you guys do with your lost mates?

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45 thoughts on “Speed Dating in a Bag

  1. Hi,
    You really have to laugh, what on earth happens to these socks, I myself have often asked this question for many years now, but no one seems to have the answer to the missing sock mystery that seems to happen to just about everyone. 😆

  2. Clever clever post! I wish I had thought of wearing mismatched socks under boots. I buy socks in bulk all the same color and style so I don’t even miss the deserters until I only have a few mates left. By then they are thread bare enough to be retired.

  3. My mismatched socks sit in the drawer of shame for months/years until one day I say, “Out! Out!” and put them in the rag bag where they live out the rest of their days cleaning spots on the rug. Cotton socks are great for polishing wood surfaces by the way.

  4. My socks longingly await the day when their true love will return. My biggest problem is that I really like socks, so I keep buying more pairs even though my widowed ones are still in the drawer. When the drawer is too full to shut, I go through it and toss some of the loners, but some socks are just too cute, warm, or fuzzy; so I keep those ones hoping their mate will show up one day…or at least send some child support for my little cold toes. 😉

  5. First of all, I most certainly DO have a dirty mind, and I’m darn proud of it. Love your approach to those lonely, mismatched socks. It sounds far superior to MY method, which is to leave them (alone and sad) IN the sock drawer itself, thus encouraging colorful language when I pull out a sock with no mate when I’m getting dressed in the morning. Fun! (and you probably thought that pandas didn’t even wear socks.)

    • Bob you silly bear. I love that colorful language line. At first I thought you were saying the socks were spewing a little colorful language. HAHAHA.
      Of course I would believe you would wear socks. I mean if Babette can wear santa suits, swim suits, and bikers jackets you could surely wear socks.

  6. Found you via Aimee over at Everyday Epistle and subscribed and linked to your blog.. Love your blog and looking forward to future posts. Come visit me sometime at RodneySouthernSays if you get the chance!

    • Hey Rodney! Thank you so much for stopping in and grabbing the leash. I just love Aimee. I went over to your blog loved it and signed up as well. Don’t worry about your daughters. Give them space and always be there to catch them when they fall. If you push too much on the small stuff, you will surely lose them on the big stuff and all your desires of wanting to be close will be gone. Trust me

  7. I think your unmatched socks have sent their mates out into the world to infiltrate our unsuspecting sock drawers and take over the world.
    Really, I never bought plaid socks, and certainly not just one, yet there it is. Watching me. Mocking me.

    I will be leaving my dryer on high heat, with the heavy duty lint filter ready for when the time comes. Thanks for the warning.
    I am prepared for Sockmageddon!

  8. You go me tricked in the beginning. So I guess I have a dirty mind. What a hilarious post. My lost mates? They go straight into the big black hole called garbage… No need to hold on to them. Merry Christmas to you!

  9. I do loads with the loners, besides your listing and the ones in the comments.
    -Puppets for rainy day arts
    -Packing wine goblets when not in use (or moving)
    -Hold wrenches or screwdrivers sets under the scrub sink (a little hole in the top and they hang on the door) or in the car trunk
    -Scrub everywhere…great for detailing the car interior
    -Fill with potpourri or wax chips and hang in the closet, drop in drawer or leave in car

    I have gobs more if you want more…Can you tell I am OCD about my truck?
    Red.

      • Socks are even better than men’s undies for polishing silver (either cleaner or toothpaste).
        You can use them instead of sponges on heavily soiled baking dishes (which chew sponges to speckled messes).
        Great for cleaning appliances..especially the fridge and the oven.
        The best for dusting carved or molded furniture and frames.
        Car wash…toss when done because tire dirt comes out of nothing.
        Put one in each end of the hose when you store it for winter to keep from getting a puddle on the floor of the garage.
        Use one in your suitcase to hold little things you do not want to carry in your purse.
        When I travel, I put my loose powder in one so it does not dust the rest of my makeup.
        Any of these help?

  10. What a fabulous post! I smiled all the way through! You have inspired me to make my own sock bag. It is truly one of the great mysteries of this life how, despite one’s diligence in keeping track of special socks, a part of a pair will go missing–as has happened recently with two, yes two, pairs of my favorite socks! At the bottom of my drawer lie single, solitary socks. It’s time I start my singles’ group. I’m heading to the sock drawer right now!

  11. Don’t do like me and use the plastic bag. Get a reusable one. I think our loved ones would appreciate it. To be lost a second time through the hole in the side would probability not wear well with the newly departed. TEE HEE Wear get it?

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