ooops, sorry officer

In October, I took a few days off of work and off the radar.  No iPad or computer just my friends and me.  We went to a geocaching event in Las Cruces.  I was so excited to get out of town that I left early that morning for a 2 hour drive.  I went to the hotel with my conformation number and was denied access to my room. Why? Because I did not make the reservation with my credit card.  One of the other girls did and I had to wait for her before they would let me check  in.  Something about room theft.  UGH!

romanclockShe was not going to be in town until 5:00 p.m. and I was there at 7:30 in the a.m..  I know, I know I was just a wee bit eager.  I decided to eat breakfast, go to the mall and to Walmart to pick up a few things I forgot i.e. toothpaste, toothbrush, socks and a jacket.  Oh, and a pair of P.J’s with house shoes, deodorant, makeup and something to put in all in.  Okay so I forgot my suitcase in the haste to get the heck out of Dodge.  I added in a few more items paid and was heading to my car when I hit the geocaching button on my Smart phone.  Low and behold a cache was right there in the parking lot of Walmart!

Mr. M  a.k.a Hub just bought me a new handheld GPS for this trip but unfortunately it had a corrupt satellite chip in it.  It was very disappointing but I did have my iPhone app.  The one thing about my phone is it does not always tell me the direction in which to walk.  Most of the time you have to start walking and watch the distance count down. The results sometimes make you look like a chicken with its head cut off.   It is a pain but when you get on the right track it doesn’t take long to find ground zero.

I drove to the far side of the parking lot and jumped out of the car.  I started walking north then west….nope it appeared to be south.  I walked south but before I could take 30 steps it was telling me northeast.  I was really hoping no one was watching.  Finally, I was on the right track.  My compass took me to a three tiered wall.  Each tier was about 6 feet high.  At one end was a semi-truck.  It provided excellent cover for what was turning out to be a scene right out of the three stooges minus Moe and Curly.  I do a lot of walking but all that exercise has not translated into weight loss…AT ALL.  For some strange reason I thought I was 105 pounds and 22 again. I thought I could pull myself up this 6 and a half foot wall.  I gave a little hop and missed the side.  I gave another jump and found the edge of that 7 foot wall.  My arms just hung there with me attached for what felt like a good 5 minutes.  I tried to swing my legs side to side…thinking that I could hook my foot on the ever growing 8 foot high wall.  There was lead in them there boots.  I just hung there.  I started thinking how ridiculous I looked and eventually  let go and stood back to access the situation.  Compass said it was 43 feet away.  I decided to use the stairs on the other side to get to the top tier then try to jump to the middle tier.  From the bottom it did not seem so high, but from the top that 9 foot tier wall was mighty intimidating. It was just too far for me to risk breaking a hip.  I went back down to the bottom.  I noticed a slope and two large stones at one end.  I ran over and crawled up the slope, pushed the boulders to the wall and hopped up to the second tier.

Well alrighty, I made it!  I started walking toward the center of the tiers.  I soon became aware that I was no longer in the cover of the big 18 wheeler.  I tried to hurry but the stupid GPS kept telling me it was down one more tier.  I managed to reposition the large rocks to the next one down, hopped up again, turned around and there he was.  Officer “BIG”.  He had a big patrol car, a big billy club and a big belly that jiggled when he wiggled.  He was an officer of the parking lot and an employee of Walmart, what we in America call a rent-a-cop.  First question out of his lips, “What are you doing up there?” Second question, “How in the world did you get up there?”  Third, a demand, “Get down from there right now!”   Before he could get out another question or demand I asked him, “Do you know where it is?”  With a bewildered look he asked, ” What?”  “The cache!” I tell him.  You could tell he had no idea what in the world I was talking about.  I tell him to give me 5 more minutes to find a small little treasure then I would be on my way.  While he was still stunned with my southern defiance, I told him all about geocaching.  I told him HE needed to get up here and help me (insert sad face complete with puckered bottom lip and the art of stalling)… so I can get off the wall, I demand/requested.  He informs me that all that geocaching sounds like fun but he was entirely too big to get up there (and boy was he) and he then informs me with a slight tone  of a threat, if I did not come down NOW I would have to be detained for trespassing.

I just kept looking all the while talking to him telling him how much fun it is to play this game.  I was telling him it is like finding gold, and before long he started getting into it.   He began pointing me in this direction and that direction to have a look at what he could see from the parking lot.  Then another car shows up, a second rent-a-cop.  He informs me we are being filmed with the Walmart parking lot cameras.  Ooops, sorry officer. I jump down and apologize to Officer “Big” for not jumping down when told.  He quickly and quietly said it was okay then asked if I was coming back to try to find it again later.  I looked at him and just smiled.  He winked.  He then told me to go inside the office next time and tell them I lost my engagement ring up there and to ask for permission to find it.  He tells me that is what his report is going to say about this encounter.  Officer Big is a very cool rent-a-cop.

I gave the big old lug a hug and was on my way.  Nope, I never went back but on my way out of town I thought I saw Officer Big in the parking lot with a GPS.  I think I converted another one.  Happy New Year Y’all



Holy Mother of Pearl!

I am not one to take to a kind gesture.  I can commit random acts of kindness but only anonymously. And when I receive… it freaks me out mainly because it rarely happens.  Doubt shrouds my mind, “What is going on?”  “Why did they do that?”  “I am not sure I am comfortable with this.”  I have been jaded throughout my life so I hope you can understand when I awoke and saw this I went crazy with anger.


there is a photo behind this symbol

ANGER, you might ask?   Yes anger.  You see  last week I wrecked my car.  I begged them not to total my completely paid off car.  Our new budget would not allow for a second car payment.  We needed to keep on keeping on in the same way as the last 4 years.

Fast forward to day before yesterday.  Insurance adjuster gave the go ahead on the repairs NOT TOTALED.  Yippee.  Next day they called again and told us the estimate may be too low. Oh no!  I told Mr. M that I would rather walk the 16 miles to work than have two car notes.  He agreed.

still no peeking


I slept so sound last night.  I did not wake up one time.  I stayed cool and no early morning bathroom lights in the eye.  Heaven.  Next thing I know M is in the room with a cup of coffee, a smile and my slippers.  “Get up!”  he says.  “It is time to get up, hurry get out of bed full day ahead.”

In my mind there is no way it is time to get up.  I just went to sleep for goodness sake.  Soon he was back with my ROBE.  I shuffle into the kitchen.  There he stood with a smile from ear to ear.  One that could put you in the mind of the cat from Cat in the Hat.  “Come with me.” he says.  I follow but not before passing a clock 4:45 in the freaking morning!  In the A.M. as in so early there was not a ray of light in the sky NO WAIT.. IN THE WORLD!  I start yelling I don’t have to be at work until 9:50 A.M.

He says nothing and drags me to the carport.  I laid my eyes upon this and felt blinded with rage!


Yes rage.  I thought we were on the same page.  I thought we were a united force.  I thought… I thought… I felt like every cell in my body was  quivering with bull red anger.  I felt I needed to faint to escape the betrayal I was feeling.  Instead. I opened my mouth to let the profanity spew out but he jerked his hand up. “It was Santa Claus.” he blurts out.   (Of course, Santa Claus is a faux name because this Santa wishes to remain anonymous too.)  “We do not have to repay until we pay off the car loan we have right now.”  he says with an unsure voice.

OH MY GOSH.  What is going on? I looked at him hard.  He is bracing for round two.  Instead I wrapped my arms around him and planted a big old kiss on him.  He hugs me back with an embrace that would pop the eyes out of any Pekingese.  He held me for a moment longer than normal. It felt good.  He was happy to have me speechless for once in our marriage. And I was happy to hug him back without any words other than thank you.

I get to work and a harpist walks in and ask us if it would be okay if he brings his harp in to play for us and the shopping customers. Gosh yes, we say.  Then my daughter decided to grace us with her presence today at work.  While there, she fixed the store computer!

Okay let me recap, new car that we do not have to repay until present loan is finished, a harpist playing the most beautiful Christmas music every heard and Stella  fixed a computer that I have been working on for a couple of weeks.  Then it hits me.  Yesterday was the end of the world.  12-21-12 3:11 p.m. END OF THE WORLD.  Suddenly I start to experience a psychotic break.  Maybe this is nothing more than an eternal dream.  Maybe the blast, that I never felt, through me into another dimension. Or more than likely I was dreaming.  I pinched myself.


I feel nothing.  So I bit myself.   HARD.  Crap that hurt.  I ran over to the next store.  I asked my friend if he is really real.  Internally, I am really freaking out.  He says yes and gives me a look of, You are a complete LOON.   I walk back to my store…stunned.  My goodness,  I think this could really be true.  I start to tremble and feel very grateful for my kind Santa and for my Mr. M.  I am thankful for the man from nowhere that came in the mall to bring us the joyful sounds of Christmas, and for my awesomely intelligent daughter.

I am a lucky woman.  Merry Christmas Everyone.  My new car.  She is not my Mrytle May but I love her.


Just in case


Just in case… the earth comes to an end tomorrow at 3:11 p.m. on who knows who’s time, I want to tell you all how much you have filled my waking hours with love and laughter.  I love to read your post and I have picked a great bunch of writers cause y’all can really make me laugh.

And after all this time we have spent together I have decided to tell you my real name.  It is of course….Queen, Queen of the Forest R’s, not a fairy, not an elf but a Queen I tell ya.


It is Ruthie and I am so happy to know each and every one of you VIA the blogosphere.

Good night my dear bloggie friends!

Merry, Happy, Wonderful Holidays.  Here is hoping to see you again tomorrow and for the many years after.