I know I am late Sorry. 😉
I love living in a small town but sometimes I just want to escape. Like when the cattle trucks come through our little village and stop at the gas station across the street from me. It does not take long for the cows to start mooing. They are calling out to me. They know I’m here and they can feel my pity for them. They are mooing my name Ruuuuuuth, Ruuuuuuuth over and over again. They sound so scared, pitiful and helpless. Don’t get me wrong I am a steak eater but I am an animal lover more, especially to the ones that know my name. On more than one occasion I have thought about sneaking over there and unlatching the door. I would shout be free, run free, get the heck out of that truck don’t you know what is coming? I have gone as far as to walk outside to get a better look see and strategize my plans.
Some ideas are….
1. Wait until the driver goes inside to get his cup of coffee then creep over to the truck and open the door. Then run like heck back to the store where I work. I could fake it when the local PoPo ask me if I saw anything. I could tell them a band of very tiny forest people stood on one another shoulders to release the bovine. Then I would have my friends claim I was insane and I don’t know what I was talking about much less where I am at.
2. Wait until the driver goes to get his coffee and a burrito then race over like The Flash and blow the lock with c4. Okay you got me I have no idea what c4 is other than it is an explosive they have used on NCIS. More than likely I would blow up the cows and that would defeat my purpose. But what a heck of a steak and shake party that would be. What am I saying?
3. Wait until the driver goes in to get his cup of coffee, burrito and uses the bathroom. Run over pick the lock then one at a time guide each cow into one of my storage units that are right next door to the gas station. Of the ones that can’t fit, I could tie them up in peoples yards. I can put straw hats and spots on them to make them look like yard art.
4. Wait until the driver goes into get his cup of coffee, burrito, uses the bathroom and flirt with the little ladies that work there. Unhitch the trailer and hook it to my truck. Haul them off to a undisclosed field where they can be happy and roam the country side never more to worry.
The only thing that stops me is the thought of having to face Hubs. Oh and I guess my friends might have a few words to say like :”ARE YOU CRAZY?” and “I just don’t know who you are anymore!” The Daughter would hang her head in shame. I would get a reputation of being a cow hugger (that I would not mind). Do they still hang people for cattle rustling?
I think I will just invest in a great pair of ear plugs. I can pop them in as soon as I hear/smell the truck coming. All I know is that I have to do something or one day you all will be seeing a headline about a crazed woman that reads, “Who let the cows out? WHO WHO WHO WHO?”
Now this story may or may not have been amusing but if truth be known…I REALLY DO WANT TO LET THE COWS OUT.