The day ended like every other day in our quaint little town I often refer to as Mayberry. All of the girls decided to grab a drink after work at the only bar in town.
Hey, I wonder, did Mayberry have a bar or did you have to go to Mount Pilot for a little drinkiepoo. Come to think of it Mayberry was a dry county….I think. How did Otis find his happy juice? WAIT, I am doing it again.
One of the girls that writes for our monthly paper, was telling us about a story she wrote. Apparently, a letter was sent to her desk from a man who was thinking about moving here. She thought it would make a good public relations article since he wanted to know about the village’s off-season and what there was to do up here. He asked about the weather and snow averages. He was curious about the crime level and job situation. The letter also mentions he is a florist and a damn good one. You could name any rose in the world and he could find it. She tells us the letter was a bit long so she condensed it. She puts her hand in her pocket and pulls out the original letter. She told us he is a widower and asked what the female population was like up here.
WHA? That is a strange question.
He also wanted to know if she thought any of the women up here would consider going out on a date with a nice widower.
??? What the heck??? Is this his version of match.com. Is this his way of GoFish? Okay, by now I am thinking there is something really wrong here.
The friend that was with me said that it sounded like he was just lonely and she felt sorry for him losing his wife. Okay, well growing up in a big city will make a person a little distrustful when things don’t sound right. I guess you can take the girl out of the city but you will never get the city out of the girl..
About the same time as my cocktail was being served, (cocktail sounds so much better than my booze) another friend came in the door and announced she got a letter from this same guy. Except he was a Chocolate-tier not a florist as claimed in the letter that was published. Then another one comes in waving papers. Same guy but this time he is a professional Photographer. Then another and another and another….so far there have been 8 letters sent to the women of this town. All with pretty much the same content but a different profession each time.
As I sat on the stool, I got to looking at the writing. It did not look like a man’s writing but that means nothing. Now comes the good part. I turn the letter over and notice the envelope. It is from Plainview and not only it is from TX it is from the prison there. PRISON!? It was then I realized, Houston, we DO have a problem. While the girls were pondering this mystery of all the letters and what it could mean, I grabbed my iPhone and did a search on his name. Lo and behold, his name pops up with a picture and a request for a prison pen pal. Oh yeah, he is a prisoner not a guard. I know this cause I Googled the prison records. There he was, doing time for embezzlement and fraud charges. It also said he is up for release on 7/7/12. Now the whole town is in on this and waiting to see if more women to come forward with their letters from the Mayberry stalker. Truly a mystery that is yet to be played out.
Later that night I got to thinking about the women he sent letters to. These women were business owner, social butterflies, women in various positions and or popular ladies in the village. Then I thought HEY, wait just a minute…Where is my stinking letter?
To be continued…..maybe…I hope…or do I?