And They Say Nothing Exciting Happens in Mayberry

The day ended like every other day in our quaint little town I often refer to as Mayberry.  All of the girls decided to grab a drink after work at the only bar in town.

Hey, I wonder, did Mayberry have a bar or did you have to go to Mount Pilot for a little drinkiepoo. Come to think of it Mayberry was a dry county….I think. How did Otis find his happy juice? WAIT, I am doing it again.

One of the girls that writes for our monthly paper, was telling us about a story she wrote.  Apparently, a letter was sent to her desk from a man who was thinking about moving here.   She thought it would make a good public relations article since he wanted to know about the village’s off-season and what there was to do up here. He asked about the weather and snow averages. He was curious about the crime level and job situation. The letter also mentions he is a florist and a damn good one. You could name any rose in the world and he could find it. She tells us the letter was a bit long so she condensed it.  She puts her hand in her pocket and pulls out the original letter.   She told us he is a widower and asked what the female population was like up here.

WHA? That is a strange question. 

He also wanted to know if she thought any of the women up here would consider going out on a date with a nice widower.

??? What the heck??? Is this his version of match.com.  Is this his way of GoFish?  Okay, by now I am thinking there is something really wrong here.

The friend that was with me said that it sounded like he was just lonely and she felt sorry for him losing his wife.   Okay, well growing up in a big city will make a person a little distrustful when things don’t sound right. I guess you can take the girl out of the city but you will never get the city out of the girl..

About the same time as my cocktail was being served, (cocktail sounds so much better than my  booze) another friend came in the door and announced she got a letter from this same guy. Except he was a Chocolate-tier not a florist as claimed in the letter that was published. Then another one comes in waving papers. Same guy but this time he is a professional Photographer. Then another and another and another….so far there have been 8 letters sent to the women of this town. All with pretty much the same content but a different profession each time.

As I sat on the stool, I got to looking at the writing. It did not look like a man’s writing but that means nothing.  Now comes the good part. I turn the letter over and notice the envelope. It is from Plainview and not only it is from TX it is from the prison there. PRISON!?  It was then I realized, Houston, we DO have a problem. While the girls were pondering this mystery of all the letters and what it could mean, I grabbed my iPhone and did a search on his name.  Lo and behold, his name pops up with a picture and a request for a prison pen pal. Oh yeah, he is a prisoner not a guard. I know this cause I Googled  the prison records. There he was, doing time for embezzlement and fraud charges. It also said he is up for release on 7/7/12.  Now the whole town is in on this and waiting to see if more women to come forward with their letters from the Mayberry stalker. Truly a mystery that is yet to be played out.

Later that night I got to thinking about the women he sent letters to.  These women were business owner, social butterflies, women in various positions and or popular ladies in the village.  Then I thought HEY, wait just a minute…Where is my stinking letter?

To be continued…..maybe…I hope…or do I?

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Simple

Whacked out Wednesdays: Mooooove on Buddy!

I sort of hate to write on Wednesdays because that is my ‘can you believe it day’ or ‘vent day’ or ‘ whacked out day’  whatever you want to call it it seems so unbecoming of me.  But I must face facts, I am only human and I get peeved just as easily and as often as the next human so here is my vent Surprise of the week.   Here’s to hoping I have very few Wednesday post.

There were a couple of reasons I moved to the mountain. One- it is my hubs home and two- I wanted a great place to raise my child. One added bonus that I did not even consider was the anger free commute to work. In the city it was always stop go, stop go accompanied by several angry honks followed by a few shout outs (the obscene type of course) and on more than one occasion the birdy salutes would fly towards me left and right. The bad thing is I had nothing to do with the traffic jams 20% of the time, but I got the salutes anyway.

I had compulsive dorfenbergerthalamus when I was living in the city. It was only heightened by the fact that I knew I would be stuck in traffic and I HAD to be at work before anyone else. I don’t know why… I just did.  I had been cursed with it since High School but now those days are slowly fading. People up here live on mountain time. There is nothing, NOTHING, that opens before 10:00 even if there is a line to get in… restaurants, bar (notice no ‘s’ on the end of bar) and gas station excluded. The streets fold up at 5:pm sharp, except restaurants (they close at 7:pm), bar (closes whenever) and THE only gas station (open 24 hours). Heck, we don’t even have a traffic light of any kind we have yield signs at least that is what most people think our stop signs are. There is very little action in this town so you could imagine my surprise when on my way to a girls day out hiking trip I ran into trouble.

It was early afternoon and we decided our hike would be at Bluff Springs. Bluff Springs is about 45 minutes out of town way back in the mountain. It is beautiful back there. No sounds only nature at its best. We turn off the highway and start the long trek toward our destination. We did not get far when I heard honking and the occasional shout outs. I found myself in a TRAFFIC JAM out in the middle of nowhere. I could count at least 9 cars on my end and more behind me. Who knew this road got so much traffic? I could barely make out the oncoming cars on the uphill side of the road. What in the world could have happened? A wreck. It had to be a wreck. I mean what else would it be on a dirt road with a speed limit of 10 miles per hour? Oh well, stranger things have happened. My dorfenbergerthalamus urges were at bay. I mean the first three cars ahead of me were my hiking buddy’s so there was no reason to be in a hurry. I waited. More and more time passed and we still sat there. WHAT IN THE WORLD? The city girl in me wanted to get out and walk the half mile or so to find out but I sat tight. Finally we started to move. Hallelujah! Slowly we inched up. As I turned the bend, I saw what was jamming up my day. Round up, yep, a round up was happening right on the road. Cows were everywhere. OMGosh only in New Mexico!

The back road I was on. See what I mean? Who would ever expect a traffic jam on this road?

As I turned the bend this is what I saw. A friging cow convention. COWS

Finally a break in the herd.

Spooky, aren’t cows a little unpredictable?

AY CARAMBA! What big horns you have.

Hey! how did that get in there????

Ahh! This is more like it. A few of my hiking buddies.  As you can see, we had a few little ones with us. All in all, we ended with a great hike and a story.