aMusing Mondays: Raven part Daux or My Wife Has Lost Her Mind

gatewaytosed

FYI: My Wife Has Lost Her Mind was Hubs suggestion for this entry when I posted this on the webcam last summer.

The first year I lived here, I was seeing things that this city girl had never been exposed to. For example, mountain lions, bears, and horny toad lizards were just a few of the unusual things I was privy to see. Each time I saw something new, I would call my husband and tell him my experience with the new and exciting discovery. It was not until I started seeing things that were not normally in this area that my husband started to doubt my sanity. One day on the way to work, I swear I saw a wolf. Husband said it was a coyote. I said I know the difference between a wolf and a coyote. He said I was wrong and went on back to what he was doing. A few months later a news cast mentioned that the Mexican Gray Wolf had been spotted in the south central/east areas of New Mexico.  That is in our area.

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Next, I was going down to Walmart and saw a roadrunner by the ski area. Called husband again to tell him what I saw. He said at 9,000 ft in the winter snow, no less, you would not find a roadrunner. But yet there was that dang roadrunner crossing the highway. I was determined to prove to my husband I was not going crazy. I followed the car in front of me all the way down the mountain clear to the next town. I followed him until he parked in the parking lot of Wal-Mart. I jumped out of my car, rushed him and asked him if he saw what I think I saw crossing the hwy at the ski area.

“You mean that Roadrunner?” he asked with eyes as big as cantaloups.

“Hold it right there.”, I said excitedly.  I quickly called husband and said…

“Hold on I have someone here that saw the same thing I saw”

I shoved my cell at  the poor fellow that I had just accosted and asked him to tell my husband, who thinks I am going crazy, what he saw. The poor fellow was so nice he says “Hello?”. For a minute there, I think he thought I was crazy too. He did tell Hubs there was a roadrunner at the ski area in the snow. Then he gave me my phone back and backed away slowly. He did not turn his back to me until 20 ft. before the automatic doors. Yep, I think it is safe to say he thought I was crazy too.

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Then one day, I was headed down the mountain again. I got to the bottom and noticed a junk shop. You know the kind, junk everywhere and everything for sale. I was walking up to the door and noticed a dog. I leaned over to pat him and heard…”Hello” ” Whatca gona buy?” I look around and see NO ONE but the dog. The dog was just laying in the sun. His tail wagging and tongue hanging out. DANG! maybe I am going crazy. About that time, I heard, “Go on in.” This time I really start to look around. I am looking for anyone, for a speaker system or one of those rock speakers…you know the kind they put around the pool to deliver music to all that are swimming. NOTHING! I slowly go inside. All at once I notice a bird, a BIG bird. It was a crow. The biggest crow on the face of the earth. I get inside and decide to take my chances. I ask the guy inside if he knew he had a talking crow…A BIG TALKING CROW. He said yes but it was not a crow. He tells me it is a Common Raven. Turns out he found it years ago when it fell out of its nest. He could not bare to leave it to the elements so he brought it home and raised it. Somewhere along the way it started to pick up words. He said it knew about 50 plus word to date. I thought, OH BOY, what will husband think of this?   I decided to not say anything until I got home. I later told Hubs, in an eerie whisper 😉 ,  “A Raven spoke to me today.” Man oh Man, that was it for him. He thought I really had lost my mind. I explained the whole thing, but I am not sure he believed me. And after that, I decided to not tell him my further discoveries.

Who knew a Raven could speak? NOT THIS CITY GIRL!

Until next aMusing Monday

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aMusing Mondays: Taste Like Chicken

In 2005 Hubs, The Daughter, Son2 and three dogs moved into our family built home. At first, we had construction ground. Ya know, dirt, grass, dirt, grass, bump, tree, dirt, grass, etc. My father in law did all the excavating and to his credit he left more grass than dirt. This lead to a full grass lawn within a year. And that is when it all began.

One afternoon Hubs and I were cutting the grass. Every time I got off the mower, I would fall into a hole. These holes would always have an underground tunnel attached to them which was evident from the turned up dirt on top of the ground. Some of the holes were small and some, like the ones I kept falling in, were huge. I could not figure out what type of animal would make both large and small holes. Finally, I decided it had to be moles. Being from the south, that was a critter I was familiar with. However, these trails were so much longer and wider than what I had been accustomed to. I hike a lot around my neighborhood and I would spot thousands of tiny holes with underground trails attached to them. DANG! We were infested. When I hike I almost always take my dogs, Mutt, Jeff and Lucy. They love to go any place outside and I like their awareness, it keeps me on my toes.

This particular day I was trying to get home before the rain started. I was hootin’ and hollerin’ for the dogs to keep up. As I got to our driveway, I looked around for the them. They were no where to be found. Lucy was my oldest, at 17 pounds she was one of the smallest, and the love of my life. We were perfectly in sync with each other so for her to not be at my side was unusual. There had been some sightings of mountain lions close to our neighborhood and I was not about to lose one or both of my dogs like that. I had to back track. They were not on the road so that meant getting back in to the woods. I followed my footsteps back until I spotted them, well one of them. As I turned the bend, I noticed Lucy jumping up and down into the air then she would dart back and forth like an out of control wind up toy. I could see her stop and run back over to the other dog, Mutt, and soon after it would start all over again. I had never seen either of my dogs act like this before so to say I approached cautiously would be an accurate statement. As I got closer, I saw my Lucy covered in dirt. I’m not talking ’bout a little dirt; I’m talking dirt stuck to her wet nose, in her runny allergy eyes, in her ears and all over her body. It was stuck to and in every cavity she had. Then I saw why she was in such a state. My big dog, 70 pound Mutt, was digging in the dirt like a high speed auger. Dirt was flying as far as four feet back and at least 2 feet high. I watched them for a while to try to figure out what they were after. I would notice that every time Mutt would tire the little one, Lucy, would run to the big hole and start sniffing. It was not one of those dainty sniff, sniff, kind of sniffs. It was the kind that you would see on the cartoons. Ya’ know, the animal would sniff the hole so hard it would suck up everything under the ground into its nose. Hence, all the dirt on her nose, which was now caked so thick that she’d lost her nostrils. As soon as they saw me, they went into a frenzy. Mutt jumped up and started digging like the wind with an occasional pause to see if I were watching her. Lucy was running after the dirt trying to catch it in mid-air. Then all of a sudden I saw some kind of critter fly by as if it had been shot out of a cannon. Lucy was all ready in flight when she caught it. Then she ran like the devil under a bush. Big dog, Mutt, had no idea that Lucy had claimed the prize and was off enjoying the fruits of Mutt’s labor. Mutt was still digging, digging and Lucy was munching, munching. It was not long before Mutt stopped to smell the hole. Immediately her head pops UP and she looks around for Lucy. She knew she had been duped. She starts running in circles trying to find her. Soon they were both in the bushes. Out they came, Lucy was caring what looked like a big ole’ fat tailless rat with Mutt hot on her paws. I made her stop and drop. UGH! A half eaten something. It looked like a grayish, stubby tailed ratlike-thingy. I gave Lucy the go ahead and by the time we got home she had eaten it all. Poor Mutt couldn’t do a thing but watch all of her hard work go down Lucy’s throat. Lucy was looking at Mutt, with those cute twinkly eyes, as if to say, “Tastes like chicken.”

After I got home, I asked Hubs what the heck it was. He called it a Vole. It turns out these critters eat tree roots. They leave hundreds, if not thousands, of holes and trails all through your yard. It is suggested that a trap be used to catch them. Or you can use poison….UGH! Or you can do like me and turn your dogs on them. No yucky traps to empty, no killing of innocent critters with the poison, just good old fun for your dogs. You may even experience a decrease in your pet food budget. Of course, there is that little “large holes to fall into” problem. But hey, the dogs are happy.

A sad note: Kazooie, aka Lucy, died November 20, 2010. It is a hard thing to lose one’s shadow. I still love, remember, and miss her antics. The best dog I ever had. I love you sweet baby girl.

aMusing Mondays: Touch IT!!!

Update:  The other night, as I was changing shifts with my brother at the hospital, I thought I may never again hear my daddy say, “Happy Birthday, little girl.”, as he has for the past 50 plus, plus years.  But he surprised me yesterday.  He somehow managed to have enough strength to write.  Hap y B   gil.  It made me feel complete and broken hearted as the same time.  He is not able to open his eyes but he is still with us.  He can hear, understand and move his eyebrows.  The doctors say there is very little hope he will leave ICU.

On to the post: We had no rain for around 9 months which lead to the forest closure.  This story took place the first weekend that our forest reopened.

I had been waiting all summer to go hiking and do a little Geo Caching.  Hubs, daughter and I set out on a cache I had been eying for months.   As we rolled up, the GPS said the cache, “Rotten to the Core”, was to the left and straight up. Literally, like at a 110 degree angle. “No Way!” says Hubs. He points out the description said a gentle incline.  He insisted we turn around and go to a forest trail  entrance about a quarter of a mile back.  I thought, ‘This was going to take forever if we do it his way!’ And with that thought, I started complaining.

“This is not right.” I mumbled.

No one heard my skepticism, so… I said it LOUDER! Hubs kept on walking. Daughter had a slight look of doubt on her face but kept on walking too. We walked down a valley with the sound of thunder rolling on the mountain. We had great cloud coverage and a light sprinkle. The only good thing so far was the awesome day we picked for a treasure hunt.    We had walked about a quarter of the way in when it got a little eerie. The further we walked the darker and quieter it became. Bear poop was everywhere and the carcass of a half eaten elk was under a tree. EEEKKK.   Soon the only sound I heard was the sound of our own shoes on the forest floor, oh, and me still whining.


It felt like we walked for miles, until hub says, “I think this is it”. Sure enough, the clue for the cache was “next to a ghostly moss covered tree” and there it was.   Well I’ll be dang!  He was getting pretty good at this game and of course,  he loves it when he is right.   


We all head over to the discovery. Then I hear daughter start to complain of something biting her or maybe a plant poked her.

“Mom!” she says in a panic. ” Touch this plant and see if it pokes you.”

“NO! Are you crazy?” I asked her.

“NO MOM, TOUCH IT, TOUCH IT NOW . I HAVE TO KNOW! JUST TOUCH IT”  So…..I touched it.  

“D@m~ IT, Daughter!” I yelled. She started laughing uncontrollably. I think from relief that a snake had not bitten her or maybe it was the little OMG it hurts dance I was doing.  My hand started swelling up like a puffer fish. It was stinging so bad that I instinctively put it to my mouth to try to cool it down. Within seconds my tongue was on fire! I was scrambling for the first aid kit. Daughter and I had blisters all over our hands and they were getting bigger by the second. We were lost somewhere between sarcastic laughter and the reality of our pain, when I heard husband at the top of the hill asking what the hold up was.  I could not believe he asked that question.  I mean, he was watching the whole thing from above.  I felt a wave of furious envelope me and I preceded to yelled at him that we were stung.  But the words I heard coming out of my face were more like.

“Lee R tung!” My tongue was SWOLLEN! “Whaaa?” 

“Wha ist this tuff???” I beg in a panic to my husband.

“Stinging Nettles.” he says laughing from the top of the hill.

Upon hearing this, I lost all interest in yelling at Hubs, however, I did feel like reaching over and strangling the teen that stood before me, especially after she says, “Good, at least I was not bitten.” in the way that only a teen, who did not want to be there in the first place, could say it .  (again with the strangling)  I could not find anything in a First Aid kit for stings.   I did find a sterile wipe and Neosporin.  Daughter wiped off her hands and applied the medicine. It only helped enough to knock off the intense pain. I, on the other hand, had to wait until it wore off because neosporin is for topical use only. (I could have killed that kid) Before we knew what was happening, I start screaming “EEEEES, EEEES” and swatting like mad. BEES were every where. Not a swarm but enough to make me scream like a little girl. When I opened my eyes they were gone.

“Pobabe goin ta det the hibe!” I tell daughter.  

In my current state of pandemonium, I looked at my daughter and say as cool and as calm as I could, “Zets doe det da tedgger.”  I start up the hill with my hub’s and my backpack pulling a whining teenager by her shirt.  That was an extra 70 lb on a steep incline. Hub notices my discomfort but does nothing other than to tell me to drop the packs.  “NO!” I screeched with all the furiousness returning.  I reminded him the gun was in the pack and if that bear came back for his dinner we could be his dessert. I could just read it  now…”Geo Cachers killed by bear.  Their only protection in a pack AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL”  Here’s yer sign!


We finally made it up to the little treasure and put some bubbles and Neosporin back in for the next  victim player. As we start to leave, hubs says take a left. I head left.  Suddenly I was feeling all alone.   I looked up and found myself standing in the clearing all discombobulated, surrounded by bear poop and bones.  I then look behind me.  That is when I find Hubs and Daughter heading in the opposite direction.  With every step, they were laughing their heads off.  I gave one last look at my surroundings and for a brief moment imagined the  ‘EEES gone mad.”  returning.  I ran like crazy all the way back to the car.  EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!

 


I loved every MINUTE of it!!!  What a ‘tan tatic day’ Nettles and all.



Until next time, happy gaming everyone,

aMusing Monday…..Oh My, Hurry Hurry Honey

One evening a couple of years ago, I was sitting in the living room watching TV. My husband was in the den fully engaged with something on the computer and my daughter was in her room doing homework, well that is what she was told to do. As I sat there watching TV, I heard a huge thud on the large picture window, which was right behind my head. My first thought was, ‘That was a huge bird.’ Then I thought it was a bat but it was the middle of winter no way would a bat be out now. I then settled on an owl. That had to be it. It was a big thunk certainly as big as a very large owl. I got up to satisfy my curiosity. And to administer any kind of help I could give to that poor, poor little creature.

I flipped on the porch light. I immediately noticed the porch was illuminated but the door area was dark. Dang maybe one of the lights burned out, no bother, for now my attention was on the little owl. I ran around the couch and over to the big window. I looked out but I didn’t see it. I looked and looked but nothing was out there. That seemed impossible to me. That owl hit that window so hard it made me think the glass could have shattered or it could have been knocked out. Maybe it was under the wicker couch on the porch….it had to be. While looking for the bird I saw that the light near the door had not burned out. It was as bright as the other two lights that were shining on the porch. Weird!

I decided to go on the porch and check under the couch. Not only was it cold, we still had snow on the ground. That little creature would freeze to death if left out there. I ran around the couch again to the door. All of a sudden I noticed the door was still dark. What the heck? I leaned back to view the picture window…. lights were on but yet the door was dark. My dogs were GOING crazy. I leaned into the beveled glass to try to see what the problem was. All I saw was my dog’s hair reflecting in the glass. I decided I would deal with the light issue as soon as I got the bird taken care of. I turned the lock on the door knob and preceded to open the door when all of a sudden this huge shadow moved and light started pouring in the front door’s beveled window. OMG what just happened? I left the door shut and ran to the front window again. And there it was! No, not a bat nor a bird not even an owl, it was a huge black BEAR!!!!!!!!!! And it wanted in my house! More precisely, it wanted me! I ran to the den shouting BEAR! BEAR! BEAR! my husband was still so involved working on the computer that he never even looked up….”okay” is all he said. UGH! I ran back to the porch window. The bear was now standing straight up and looking at me…ME! I screamed BEAR! BEAR! BEAR! and ran to get my daughter. She was all involved in her ‘homework’ which was really a computer game and her response was “okay mom in a minute”. I ran back to the window. I did not see it anywhere but I did noticed the door was dark again. I ran to it, all the while screaming BEAR BEAR BEAR THERE IS A BEAR ON THE PORCH. OH MY HURRY HURRY HONEY!…. no one responded. I checked out the beveled door’s window. OMG that was not the dog’s hair reflected in the glass. IT WAS THE BEAR’S HAIR AND HE IS TRYING TO TEAR THE DOOR DOWN! Now I am screaming so loud even my dogs can’t compete and they head for the bedroom with tails tucked. I look out the window again…bear is on the move…to the BACK YARD! I have a doggie door. It is not big enough for the “BEAR” to get in but its head or paw could get in. I run to get the dog door cover located behind my husband’s chair and slide it into place.

It was about then my hubby looks up and says, “What are you doing?” I scream “A BEAR, A BEAR IS TRYING TO GET IN THE HOUSE!” “What?”, he says with a dazed and confused look on his face. Then it hit him and he sprang into action. He ran to the front window and said, “There is no bear out there.” “DUH! I KNOW THAT!”, I said, “It went around the back!” He runs to the back and opens …..THE DOOR! He is nuts and I am not waiting to see what happens.  I run for the bedroom with the dogs. Along the way I pass my daughter in the hall and yell, “A BEAR!”. After what seems like at least 15 minutes all was calm when I came back out. There was no bear anywhere. I guess he went to our neighbors. Daughter was back in her room and hubby was back working on the computer. They were notimpressed.  And you know why?  Because they NEVER saw a THING!  The dogs were still traumatized and in hiding under the covers and I was left with an exciting memory of an owl, I mean “BEAR!”

Who knew that bears wake up early around here?

Oh! and the next morning I saw the big old paw print that he smacked the window with. It was at the same height as my head would have been sitting in the chair!!! Thank God for thick glass.

Until next time

Lifeisabowlofkibble

“Well behaved women rarely make history!”  Mae W.