Once Upon an Enchanted Time

It was early afternoon and the birds were out with their delicate songs of beauty.  The air had a crispy nip and the sweet fragrance of pine danced upon the gentle breeze.  As I strolled along, I saw a forlorn and long forgotten road into what looked like an enchanted forest.  It was overgrown with foliage and had fallen trees blocking its path.  It appeared to me the trees had somehow downed themselves to deter humanity from entering.  Why would these tall timbers and little saplings want to keep this wonderland hidden?  Maybe because of the secret it was protecting. You see a long time ago a human with the ability to fly without feathers or wings hid a highly desired trove of riches. I not only wanted to experience the exquisiteness of this woodland area I was also after the elusive hidden treasure it cloaked.  It was hidden for only a select few to find… and I was hoping I would be one of them.

Beauty abounds in this little lost world.  I took my time gazing with dancing eyes into the Ponderosa pines and lingered among the colorful wildflowers.  The birds were fluttering around me in excitement and song.  I slowed to their melody of happiness. What a marvelous Shangri-La I had stumbled into.

I continued on my walk until I was halted by a fallen tree branch.  Ms. Offshoot had reached up and clutched my pants leg.  I am sure she only wanted to introduce herself to me.  However, the sun was disappearing. I had no time to stop and chat I had to find the hidden cache.   She must have been very lonely because in that brief moment she decided to introduce me to her closest and dearest friend Mr. Ground.  We had an engaging but brief chat then I was on my way again.

I found the treasure nestled at the bottom of a magnificent tree.  It was hidden within the exposed roots of a fallen tree.  Truly a splendid haven for such a monumental treasure filled with trinkets of silver, copper, pseudo gold, and synthetic dreams.  I took only a single object and bestow upon the vault a single gift in return.  I then thanked the tree for allowing me to spy its concealment. I returned the box and bid ado to this spellbinding Nirvana.

And as the story goes She lived happily ever after.

Now what really happened……………..

It was a beautiful morning.  Crisp air and a very steep uphill road was ahead of me.  There were so many birds squawking and talking it was almost deafening. The purpose of this day was to find the geocache and not come back without the find.  But still, I wish I would have had my NM bird book to identify some of the different songs and sounds. Sorry I sometimes stray off subject.  When I walked up to the entrance I saw a multitude of trees that had been felled.  They lay across the now non-existent road to prevent people from driving into the forest.    As stated before, I was absolutely determined to find this cache.  Earlier in the day I had walked over 6 miles for two caches and came up empty on both hunts.  The uphill climb was daunting but that would not deter me.  I had to find this one if for no other reason than to stroke my bruised ego.

In the storybook version, you might have imagined me in a long flowing dress… in reality; I was decked out in my camos, Indianan Jones hat, hiking boots and a walking stick.  In storybook land, I was practically floating on air in awe…in reality; I was laboring over forest debris and deliberately forcing my steps to get up and over the downed trees.  Remember Ms Offshoot gently clutching my pants leg?  She was actually entangled in the tie on my boot.  I was not going to let a little tiny branch slow me down so I gave a swift jerk while in full stride. Now this is where everything started going wrong!  My leg flung itself from the tangles of the branch only to find the end of my walking stick which was supporting almost all of my weight. The next thing I see was my stick flying through the air to gosh only knows where.  In that split second my brain starts to engage but it is seeing things in sssllloowww-mo.  In my head, I was screaming “YOU ARE FALLLINGG” and I was.  I was screaming “BRACE YOURSELF PUT YOUR HANDS UP STUPI…”  The thought never got a chance to finish.  Before the last syllable could be mentally formed, my face planted itself into her old buddy Mr. Ground.   I laid there face first and stunned. And when I said in the ground I meant it.

My front teeth were wedged in the dirt like a backhoe to a ditch.  After I freed my teeth, I laid there for a few moments collecting my thoughts then let out a meek and pathetic …”timber”.  I slowly rolled over to sit up then looked around for any observers.  Only the hundred or so birds were watching.  I must have been pretty entertaining because they were shocked into silence! Yep, not a peep.  I then noticed my boot and to my surprise it was still caught on Ms. Offshoot!  Don’t ask me how she could have hung on through all that! I then checked to make sure all my teeth were there.  To my delight, they were but they were sore, pushed back a little, and bleeding. I think I spit dirt for at least 10 minutes.  I checked my knees.  I knew there was a problem because my camo was sporting a brand new color.  RED.  Yep it was a doosy of a fall.

I then made a quick scan of my GPS to see how far away the prize was but the GPS had no signal.  I was not going home without this smiley! (that’s what they call a find)  I headed back up the hill and in short order found the grand treasure chest.  It was full of cool stuff.  I took a little something for the kid and dropped a travel bug. (that’s an item that travels the world from cache to cache with the help of geocachers like me)  Then I packed out of there and headed home to my own castle to nurse my wounds.  Next morning I COULD NOT MOVE.

As the ending goes. ”I lived happily ever after”

WHAT AN AWESOME DAY

Whacked out Wednesday – A Sunflower Seed By Any Other Name

I may not have mentioned that I throw  deliver mail with my husband but I do, on the two days a week I am not at my other job.  Yes, we are glorified USPS rural postal carriers.   On a good morning we manage to work well together, but on other days we just work.  This was one of those days….

I was running late.  My hair was just not making nice.  My clothes were left in the dryer over night and wrinkles were set in hard.  I couldn’t find my shoes and my makeup was half on.   “WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!” encourages my husband.  Of course, “encourages” that is my sarcasm shining through.   I throw everything down, walk out with one shoe in hand and an attitude that would make a bad dog run.

“Large letters to the back,” he croaks.  “Get busy,” he says, while doing nothing!  Or at least nothing I can see.  Okay, now I’m about to go postal on him…

Humph! I yelled…in my head. You see, I am a firm believer in picking your battles. I looked at him and contemplated going for the big one…instead I decide to walk away, cool off and get some sunflower seeds from the local corner store. I really like sunflower seeds.    They are nature at its finest and when humans add the salt it sets my soul at ease.  I try not to eat them often, but when mad they do the trick to occupy my thoughts and keep me from ringing my other half’s neck!

Our drive started pretty good.  Things had calmed down and I was getting into the music while sucking on a handful of seeds.  Before I knew it, my toes are tapping out the beat of the current song. Things were looking up until the man I married, the man that saw me getting ready this morning in frustration, the man I just gave a stern look to only minutes ago, looks at me with a look that said…THAT SAID…well I don’t know what it said, but I didn’t like the look!

Again, to battle or not to battle…decisions decisions.   I came to the conclusion that I would wait to fight the good fight another day.  It was already a hot, hot day and tempers flying would just make it all worse.  As I was pondering the question of whether to talk it out or not, I realized I had a hand full of empty sunflower seed shells in my hand and nowhere to put them.  So I rolled down the window and took all that rage I was feeling at the moment, wadded it up into those sunflower shells then I let ‘er rip with the biggest throw I could muster.

OMGOSH!  It landed on the car next to us!    The poor man’s window was down!  If any thing flew inside, he didn’t notice.  I think he was more concerned with the connect the dot puzzle of seeds on his windshield and car door.  He sort of gave me the same look I just saw on my hubby’s face.  I gave him the most apologetic look I could.  I stuck out my bottom lip and shrugged my shoulders.  I think I may have even batted my eyes a time or two in hopes that he would forgive my stupidity..   I then give a panicked look over to my husband.  I realize he saw nothing, notta, no clue as to what I just did.  He turned on his blinker and drove off.  I turned to look back at the poor man as we drove away.  I could not see his face because of his wipers racing at 90 miles an hour.  I keep watching in the rear view mirror.  All I could imagine was the sight of him pulling up beside us and cussing my poor, poor husband out.  I was beginning to think that all of this crumby day was all my doings.  Our next units of boxes were just ahead, and still no sight of the victim…. I mean gentleman.   I go about putting packages in their respective boxes, all the while, looking over my shoulder.  Ten minutes later, my heart is finally starting to settle down.  I grab the last of the out going mail and look up to find that polka dotted seed car driving S-L-O-W-L-Y by.  I pray he just keeps on driving.  I mouth, “I’m so sorry.”  He gives me a look, slightly waves and drives on.  My husband is a witness to this exchange and I can see he wants to ask what it was all about.  I have no idea what kind of look was on my face but it must have been good because he went about his business and never said a word.

I still look for that gentleman from time to time.  I have yet to see him and if I ever do see him again I will apologize profusely, beg for forgiveness and divert my husband away from the whole conversation.