Five things or How Did They Get Here?

Five things I learned last month:  I learned that even the best laid plans can change.  The best thing to do is just tuck & roll with it until you see what you bump into.

I learned that my Stella may be braver than I thought.  She got her ear pierced…in the cartilage part.  They told me to come into the punchering room with her but after a quick scan of the waiting room I said “H3ll no!!! I will wait.  There is no one here big enough to pick my rather large caboose up off the floor, thank you.”

I learned that my 14 year old female Chihuahua’s can still go into heat and our neutered male has no idea that he lost his marbles around 1 year  old.  If I were a scientist, I would be learning how to bottle that libido.  I can see dollar signs.

I learned that twitter is not for me.  I might be too old for it. I am long winded and it is sort of like talking to my husband. It refuses to let me finish my sentences!

And finally, I learned that no matter how old you get your life is rich when you have someone to share it with…………….

But How Did They Get Here?

While waiting on my car to be fixed a little old man and little old woman walk in. She can hardly stand or walk.  Her steps are mere inches apart.  It took her a good 15 minutes to walk 25 feet.  Her little legs have bruises and sores on them.  He is much much quicker and races ahead to open the door for his honey.  They finally get in and set down in the waiting room.  After a few seconds the Mister says to the Wife, ‘Honey where are we again?’  She reminds him they are at the car dealership getting their vehicle repaired. 

Umm. 

She gets all settled in and whopped out her crossword puzzle and he asked, ‘Honey where did you say we are again?’  She looks annoyed and yells at him,  ‘IN THE WAITING ROOM.’  He looked enlightened but embarrassed.    A few minutes later he says, ‘There she is honey, there she is.’  Wife looks around the corner surprised at the speed in which they repaired the damage.  She looks back at him again with the eye.  She then informs him, ‘We drove the truck in today. That is not our car it is not even the right color.’  She went back to her crossword he twiddled his thumbs.

All of a sudden I realize he is in the throes of dementia.

‘Honey, I have to go to the bathroom.’  She gives him directions.  When he stands up she grabs him and informs him he forgot to zip his pants this morning.  She then gave me the eye, I divert my gaze to escape her daggery stare.   She grabs him by the waste, and fixed his britches like he were a kid, then sends him on his way….. alone. 

Time passes and he is nowhere to be seen.  I start getting a wee bit nervous but my eyes remain fixed on my newspaper.   Correction my upside down newspaper.

He returns and sits down again. ‘ Honey,  did you say we are at the doctors office?’  She ignores him.  Then she says, ‘My legs are hurting so much today.’  I take a quick glance to see her poor little swollen legs, ugly.  She tells him she is going to take a pain pill and with that she gulps a couple  down in one swift swallow.  He says, ‘Okay dear what ever you need.’

A PAIN PILL!  Then all of a sudden it hits me,  My lawd,  how in the world did they get here and more importantly how are they getting home??

Two hours, one more trip to the bathroom, and many more questions later the car Tech brings them their keys.  The tech tells them they had to order one little part so they will have to bring it back.  Apparently, they damaged a part near the opening of the gas tank when they drove off with the nozzle  still installed in the tank!  I thought that only happened in the movies.   Mister asked Wife, ‘Honey would you like to drive this time?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE THIS TIME????? Lawd help us all.  

My tech has just walked in and tells me basically the same thing.  My part has to be ordered and I will have to return.  NO, I did not run off with the pump.  We are all standing there getting our stuff ready to roll but I just can’t leave until I find out who is driving!  I sit back down acting as if I had an important text to take care of and waited.  Unfortunately, the Wife is so slow in getting out of the waiting room that my presence was starting to look a little odd so I went to my car.

Wait for it….wait for it.  Mister and Wife emerge.

q-utecouple

He is holding on to Wife’s little arm then all of a sudden he shoots off toward the truck yelling , ‘SHOT GUN!’   This truck is not just any old truck, it is a Monster Truck with a 3 foot lift kit and monster tractor tires on it!  Needless to say, I was in shock.  Wife was left to hobble behind.  She finally made it to the truck and stood there.  Her Mister jumped out of his seat ran around and hoisted her up into her seat.  He then ran back to his side, jumped in and  away they drove off both wearing grins!

Until next time, keep looking for the fun in life with the ones we have.  Because even if our love ones drive us crazy, they also could be the ones that drive us home….with a grin.

qball

QB and her reaction
to my quiche.

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Myrtle May Long, Long Gone

Oh the memories, the memories.  Myrtle May homely and white… what a gal.  She was always there for me.  If ever I had a spontaneous thought, she was right there to encourage me to go for it.  She was more than willing to ride out the storms that came and went.  She was there when I would break out in uncontrollable laughter.  She was there for me to lean on, to cry on.  When I found myself missing my grands she took me to see them.  She took me to take care of my son while he was in cancer treatment.  She carried me to my dad’s funeral.  She absolutely loved to go camping.  She was hardy and robust; she could pull a hill that made most men shiver.  I loved Myrtle May.

In 2012, she lost all control.  It was raining one morning.  She and I were percolating along until she hit the old treacherous stuff we call black ice.  She never saw it coming.  Off we went about 12 feet down.  She kept me cradled and snug.  I walked away without a scratch.  Myrtle was not so lucky.  She was unable to move on her own.

I begged the techs to not let her died.  They said they would do what they could but it really depended on the insurance and what they were willing to approve. (Typical, right?)  I cried as they took her away.  Hub thought the worst, as did everyone else.  Two months went by and still no word.  Hub took it upon himself to try and take my mind off of her.  He decided to bring a new man into my life, Chris.  Hub introduced me to him on the night before Christmas.  He was there, in the garage, with nothing on but a big green bow.  Not a word was spoken.  My emotions were mixed.  I looked at my husband with disbelief.  He was worried.  He did not know how I was going to react to this new man he had brought into my life.  All at once the reality of Myrtle May not pulling through hit me like a ton of bricks.  Husband’s eyes were apologizing for the loss but he encouraged me to befriend Chris.  I gave Chris the once over.  I asked Hub where he came from.  I mean he looked so sleek…so different.  Then I looked at my husband.  I ran to him, I squeezed his neck; I kissed him all over and thanked him for his thoughtfulness.

I did lose Myrtle May but not to the accident.  I hooked her up with a younger man.  The first time he saw her he feel in love and promised to care for her as much as I did.  She and he can be spotted around town every now and then.  You never see him without a big smile on his face when they are together.  It was a good decision to be the matchmaker for those two.  And Me?  Well, Chris and I can’t be happier.  He definitely knows how to treat a lady.  He is handsome, smooth and rugged just like I like ‘em.  Wait, are you wondering about Hub and how he fits into this threesome? Well, in the driver’s seat of course.  Other than a little bling on the steering wheel he is crazy about Chris too.

Please let me introduce you to Chris

Chris, it is short for Christmas Present

Chris, it is short for Christmas Present

 

Stella loves him too.  She says he reminds her of Santa’s big red sleigh.  She also pointed out the turn signal sounds just like reindeer hoofs clomping on the ground.  By golly, she is right, it does.   And just like Santa’s sleigh it will never get lost because we have a star named SYNC to guide our way.

Soon I will be going back to Memphis for my granddaughter’s graduation.  This will be a true test of his manhood because not only is he taking me he is also carrying my three girlfriends and their luggage!   I hope he can handle all this Womanly Awesomeness.

Note: I wrote about the new car back at Christmas but I wanted to follow up with the conclusion of Myrle May.  Also, our busy season is about to start so I have no idea when I will post again; however, I will be reading all of yours as they come in.  Later, Ruthie

My Big O’ Redneck Dog

Well by now you have met my dog Mutt, the wonder hound, as in I wonder what that button do?  She is of course my key to all things strange.  A chicken at heart but a watch dog when needed, (OMG liar, liar pants on fire).   A courteous eater with all others of the pack feed first and not a drop on the floor, (burn baby burn).  A toy sharing mongrel  that would give her last toy to her siblings, (is that the devil I see coming?)

Okay, okay, she is a typical dog with typical jealousies.  She is extremely curious which has led to her being lost in the neighborhood for half a day, a million holes dug to find the critter that her big sis loved to eat, hours spent investigating leaves that fall to the ground .  Objects that have been moved from one place to the other fascinates her to no end.   And if there are any black objects that have magically appeared, ANYWHERE, you had better hold your ears because she will let you know it is there until  the alien of the dark side has been removed!    Then there is the, at one time, new washer and dryer.  She still watches it daily.  It holds a hypnotic power that can transform her from a hyper little 5-year-old to a sleepy old gussy. And this is where the redneck comes into play.

Mr. Moody’s recliner was the most used piece of furniture in the house.  All three dogs had their own con-caved perches on varies spots of the chair with Mr. M in the center. The smallest one on the arm, next one was located at the top of the head rest and the big dog’s spot was wedged in beside the master, but she hated to share.  Her ideal squatting spot was dead center and stretched out head to toe.  She would actually look at you and whine until you came over to recline the chair for her optimal comfort.  Both she and M, had worn the snuginess right out of the chair.  Holes as big as babies bottoms were worn between the seat and back.  Springs were poking where springs should not poke but her love for that chair was unmatched by any other piece of furniture.  So you could just imagine her surprise when the Mister came home with a great big object.

She watched him push, pull, and tug her little cloud of comfort out of its spot.  She then saw him struggle, drag, and scoot a rather large dark (but not black) thing into its position.  And that position was right where her old comfy sleeping station was just moments before.  Mr. M said she had her misgivings.  She crept up to it like it was alive.  When he pulled the lever to show her it reclined she shot out of the house like it was a feral cat  coming after her.

When I got home I was surprised to see the new VERY large double recliner.  It was nice and he could not wait to show me it was built for two.  In reality, it was made for two skinny people or one Mr. M and one large dog, but we managed to squeeze in together.  SuzieQ was barking and wanting up with us.  Jeff was already in his usual spot minus his cozy nest like feel.  Big girl was nowhere to be found.  Later that evening Mutt was still MIA.  I called her but she did not come in.  I looked out the back door and there she was.  She was back in her element, her comfy zone.

Ya see, Mr Moody moved the old chair on the back porch until the weekly trash run.  Mutt found it and staked her claim as full owner of the redneck backyard porch recliner.  Yes my dog is a redneck dog and loves it.  I know we should remove the porch recliner but it would just break her heart.  She has tried to share Mr. M’s new chair but he keeps shooing her out of it.  Rotation of newchairSo the back porch chair will stay, at least until fall.  For the time being, my big old redneck dog can enjoy life once again.

Rotation of oldchair

You might have a redneck dog if  your canine likes to help you load the dish washer by licking clean each plate before it lands in the machine!

You might have a redneck dog if  “shot gun” means riding in the back of the pickup truck.

You might have a redneck dog if “Flying American” means its ears are flapping in the wind while riding “shot gun” on the highway.

And finally, you might have a redneck dog if it has its own recliner on the back porch of its very nice home.

Later Y’all

Ruthie

love is in the air

It all started on Friday of last week.  Mr. M parked his truck outside because the garage is full of summer vehicles i.e. riding lawnmower, golf cart and my car.  He just happened to peek out of the den window and saw several Bluebirds sitting on his truck.  Every once in a while they would fly around in a frenzy, cheep and then settle back down.  Everyday he would complain about this because not only were they sitting on his truck they were also leaving behind, umm let’s just say, they were white washing his ride.

When Mr. M told me about this odd behavior I was convinced they were eating the bugs off his windows and doors.  I suggested he wash it and he did.  Next day this happened again.  This time we went out together and washed it.  Within hours, there was a lone bird back again.   Mr. M was about fed up with the whole thing and threaten to remove my car from the garage and park his inside.  I finally walked over to the window to see for myself.  Immediately, I knew what was going on. It was not bugs at all.  After days of several birds flying all over his truck this little Western Bluebird was the only one left and he was still trying to court my husband’s truck.  To be more accurate, he was courting his own reflection!

He is a determined little fellow.  The wind has picked up to about 40 miles per hour and he is still courting.   Not only did he try to make out with the truck he also tried to join us in the den.  We were watching television when all of a sudden we heard a very distinct knock at the window and a little bluebird’s head peeping in.  WOW

Click on the link to see video I shot of the little love sick creature.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh-rAingzHE&list=HL1365458093&feature=mh_lolz

Punch it Margret

snow_day_10

The picture was a couple of winters ago.  That year we had around 154 inches of snow, or so we’ve been told.  I hate snow but I have to admit it was an awesome year.  At the time, I was not working for the Bird House.  I was helping Mr. M deliver mail.  Unfortunately, no amount of snow can stop the mail so we bundled up and left for work.  It was not long before we pulled up to a set of mailbox units.  I jumped out and put the mail into the respective boxes,  jumped back in the warm truck and make the comment of  how pretty this area was.  This is when I made a fatal error.  I asked, “What is up there?”  He says, “Let me show you.”  Mr. M is always excited to show me where he grew up.  So with a kooky smile, we were off.

We have a 4×4 so trudging around in the snow is not that big of a deal unless it is 4 feet high….which is was.  The area of interest was up a very steep hill and back in the forest.  Little did we know that the 4 feet of snow would soon turn into 6 feet. He kept fighting with the snow trying to get further back in the forest until we ran up a snowbank and that was that.  M gets out of the truck to assess the situation. We are stuck on a narrow road with a steep drop off on the passenger side…that would be my side.  Before we got stuck he was attempting to turn a corner so the truck was heading away from the cliff.   He tries pushing the rear of our 2 ton 4 wheel drive truck in a circle so we could drive out.  And as logic would dictate, it did not work.    He then tells me to get behind the wheel.  He says to put it in reverse and give it gas when he says go.  He then walks to the front of the truck and puts his shoulder into the grill and yells go.  I yelled back, “Are you crazy?  I will run over you for sure!”  All I could see was me backing over the edge and taking Mr. M over with me.   He practically screams at me, “JUST Punch it!”  I was instantly upset.  I slammed it into gear and I punched it!  Thank the lord above it did not work because I put it into gear alright, but I put it in DRIVE and he was in front of the truck pushing!  As soon as I realized what I did I felt like I was going to pee my pants.  I could have killed him and I was not going to let that information slip my lips.  I quickly put it in reverse and tried it again.  By now he is looking at me with disgust and wondering how in the world we are going to get out of this situation to finish our mail route.  The rest of the story is a little fuzzy but in the end we did indeed get out of the snowbank and turned around with Mr. M in one piece.

Contrary to what you may be thinking,  I did not do it on purpose just to prove how right I was.  Truly, I was in a daze and not thinking.  Between him pushing with all he had and the icy snow, my inability to run him over , did not cost him his life… this time.

Ruthie

Good to the last snort

Sixteen months ago my father passed away.  He had talked with me in the earlier years about taking his dogs if anything happened to him.  I said I would and that is how SusieQ came to own us.   When she got to us she was a 2 pound tea cup Chihuahua that weighed almost 10 pounds!  Her diet consisted of boiled chicken breast, hamburger and peppermint candy.  This is a video of her first introduction to hard dog food.  She doesn’t know what to do with it.

Just recently, she has not been eating her dry food because of her aging teeth.  We got her some soft food and she went crazy over it.  She was snorting so loudly it drew me into the kitchen  to make sure she was okay.  I called her name and she looked up.  Her little nose and mouth were covered with gravy.  I asked her if it were good and she looked at me snorted in then breathed out.  Gravy went spewing out of her nose and I swear she looked at me and smiled.  Then… she breathed in which sucked all the gravy that was left on her nose back right back in.   It was gross but she was so happy.  We still have her on the soft and every morning you take her breakfast she will show you her pearly whites.  I tried to get a video of her eating the soft but the nostril straw thingy was a one time only event and I missed getting it on camera.

Hope everyone is showing their pearly whites today,

Ruthie

Love is where your children are

Here is a little shorty that touched my heart.

As most of you know, I love geocaching.  Most of my stories are from the experiences that I have gotten from this game.  Never heard of this game?  Then check it out at www.geocaching.com   Not only do I enjoy finding little caches, I also enjoy hiding them and this is where this story begins.

For Christmas, my employer’s son gave me a couple of travel bugs.  Travel bugs are little coins or dog tags with a mission that you decide on.  You hide them in existing caches for people to pick up and move along so it can accomplish its goal.  I finally came up with a name, “Love Is Where Your Children Are” and a goal of it making its way to my son in Memphis Tn.  I also invited geocachers along the way to add something to the chain that is attached to the travel bug.  Just something little that represented the love they have for their children.

Last week I set out to geocache along hwy 54 and 380.  I had a great day and at the last cache I stopped at I found a geocoin.  I normally don’t take anything from the cache boxes I find so I normally do not have anything to trade.  I really wanted to move this geocoin along because it had been sitting there for quite some time.  I ran back to my car and found only one thing, the travel bug that Jason had given me.  I really wanted to hold on to it for a while but I decided to use it for its purpose and send it on its way.  I figured it would be there for a while because not a lot of people geocache in the winter.

Next morning I received an email from a person that picked it up the very next day. This is what it said:

 Picked up this little TB and will add a little something in memory of our little Dustin who had CP and was taken from us way too soon this last year. He had the most beautiful laugh and smiling eyes and had just started geocaching…….he loved the outdoors! We will move this on to a TB Hotel on Interstate 25 so that it will get headed towards your son.

I have cried all day.

It did not take long before another cacher found it.  Each time a person takes it, they have to write a little something about it.  She jotted down a short note that she had found it and the previous person (above) had added a little stuffed puppy that Dustin loved.  She did not know the goal of the travel bug but loved the puppy that was attached.  It was not until later she read the entry about Dustin.  She promised to place it in a children’s cache box.

We are all connected in beautiful complicated ways that we just can’t comprehend.  I am so happy that I am connected to you guys too.

Ruthie

WIW: lost

Love who you are

Another shorty:

As you know by now I am battling with a living diet.  I know, that so sounds like an oxymoron but so is losing weight.  I am going on two trips this year.  One to Santa Fe and then one to Memphis.  I need new clothes……

On the way down the hill today I tell Stella I need clothes for my Santa Fe trip. She yells , then go buy you some! I say I am so big nothing looks good. She ponders this for a minute then says,  Mom go to one of those big and tall store. Nothing will fit but instead of hating yourself for being fat you could love yourself for not being big enough. I love her mind ♥

Ruthie

Pay Phone

ClassicTelephoneBoothLast night daughter and I were  coming home from a day of shopping and dinner.  On the way up the mountain we were listening to the Top 20.  The song “Pay Phone” came on the radio. I asked her why in the world would they call it that? Kids nowadays have no idea what a pay phone is. We then started talking about how different the world was back when I was a kid.  It was a few minutes later when Stella  asked,  how in the world did y’all remember all those telephone numbers?  I laughed and told her you can do anything if you put your mind to it and if your teacher put the fear of God into ya.  I tell her back then you had to know your phone number by heart in the first grade.  They would go down the line several times a year and have you tell your phone number, date of birth, and address.  If you were wrong, it was curtains.  Then I started telling her I could still remember my phone number from when I was in 1st grade.

Genuinely and without skipping a beat, Stella asks, 1?

Funny but so mean!

Cock-a-doodle-do Cantina

I recently got an email that had suggestions of blog ideas.  One was from Mama Kat.  She said to “Show me your Kitchen”  I liked it.

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I have a Cock-a-Doodle-Do Cantina.  I have no idea how it got started but it did.

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When I was young I always wanted a farm so I could have chickens.  However, we built our house in a community that did not allow farm animals of any sort.  How sad.

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I managed to find a rooster or two when we built our house and was content.

IMG_3467But then something happened.  My mother-in-law started sending me these cute little Mexican roosters.  How cute right?

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My view from the kitchen sink

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Then one day I took a look around and realized these little cocks had taken over.

  I had roosters standing guard from above…

roosterwine

I even had a rooster that partake of the drink while standing guard

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And to keep all of those cock-a-doodle-dos in line and to watch over the goods, I have an itty bitty.  SuzieQ takes her job seriously.

HOME IS WHERE THE KITCHEN IS.